Oscar Podiums in Belfast

Saw these amazing Oscar in Belfast the other day. I think they are used for comic awards. 

I wanted to make a speech: 

'Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears;

I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.

The evil that men do lives after them;

The good is oft interred with their bones;

So let it be with Caesar. The noble Brutus

Hath told you Caesar was ambitious:

If it were so, it was a grievous fault,

And grievously hath Caesar answer’d it.'

Or maybe forget the Bard and use comedy:

'Did you hear that the price of duck feathers has risen?

So now even down is up.'